Lauren Mayberry, the lead singer from the band Chvrches who is currently dating an American actor Justin long has written an essay about an abuse that she faced from her ex-boyfriend.
The essay is very emotional and Mayberry is really brave to write it. The essay is very frank and boldly shared her “abusive relationship” with her former partner. She is a feminist and she has always been vocal about misogyny.
This is an excerpt from the long essay published in Stereogum. She wrote this for Lena Dunham’s online newsletter called Lenny Letter.
We were arguing, again. Like most times it happened, I wasn’t quite sure why he was so upset. I had tried to placate him; I had tried to reason; I had tried to apologize, but nothing seemed to be having any impact other than making the situation worse. Then he backed me against a wall and slammed his hand repeatedly on the surface above my head. When I broke down in shock, he said, “Oh, don’t act like I hit you.” That moment was the final wake-up call I shouldn’t have needed.
Things like this had happened before but to a lesser extent. He would pull me by my arms and wrists when he was frustrated and thought I wasn’t listening (and then say he was sorry). He would slam doors on me (and then apologize). He once grabbed at the steering wheel of my car when I was driving so we could pull over to “talk,” then shouted and beat his fists repeatedly on the dashboard when I didn’t stop the vehicle.
At the time, it felt like things changed slowly, like I woke up one day in a relationship and a reality that I did not recognize, but I’m sure the signs were there the whole time. When we met, he seemed charming. He was smart, passionate, creative, and caring. But after the first few months, he became increasingly paranoid, insecure, jealous, and depressed. Everything became my fault. I was careless. I was stupid. I was selfish. I was not trustworthy. I was a weak person who would fail at anything she tried so I shouldn’t bother. He hated me, but then he loved me and I was the best person in the world — until I wasn’t anymore.
You can read the whole essay online after you subscribe the Lenny Letter. This excerpt says that this letter is really powerful and she has open-heartedly expressed her dangerous relationship that she have to go through.
She has gone through much psychological violence although she never realizes which kind of violence was that. One thing she clearly mentioned is that her ex-partner never hit her physically but she had gone through tremendous torture.
Lauren Mayberry has always considered herself as bold, feminist and shrewd person but she never thought she would find herself in such a situation.
Lauren Mayberry and Justin Long relationship
Despite her troubled relationship with her crazy ex-boyfriend, her relationship with Justin Long is absolutely fine. They have been dating since 2016 and both actively participates in volunteer work. In 2016 they went to Nicaragua to help the social orphans. That’s really cool.